To truly love another human being.

          This picture means a lot to me. It’s my grandma and grandpa kneeling together on a dock. It looks like a still from some classic, romance film. 

           This topic isn’t meant to be directed just at my generation. I think this truth is always relevant and universal. I'm not going to pull out scripture. The issue I’m addressing is about something many people have misdefined or taken lightly: what it means to really love another human being. (This applies to any relationship) I know I’m only nineteen, and I’ve much life experience ahead of me, but maybe people need the guessing perspective of someone young. 

          I’m an extrovert. I’ve always got to be socializing or networking with people. I’ve been told numerous times on first encounters that others feel like I’m an old friend after one conversation. I crave deep relationships with people. I don’t care about numbers, I just want to know that people are thinking of me. 

          That’s a little selfish, right? I want people to be interested in me because I think I’m interesting and deserve attention. But that’s human. Also, I notice my own problems first and secretly want others to as well. I want the spot light on me. When people say I’m like an old friend to them after one conversation, it’s probably because after “Hello” I’ve spilled my heart out. I crave deep friendships because I benefit emotionally. I feel secure, but it’s one sided. I’ve mistaken what it really means to connect with others. I don't think I'm alone on this.

          Some approach friendships in order to find their own happiness. Love is always fun and exciting! Girls rush to get their MRS degrees thinking that love is the attraction they feel then, a mix of youth, attention, and laughter. Personally, marriage scares me. I’ve come to realize that it’s a lot harder to love than I thought. Love will fill you up with so much joy, but there is a cost. It’s not one-sided. To truly love another human being is to have deep empathy and the willingness to relate towards the other. You will hurt when they fail and when they experience pain. You will feel what they feel as their needs become your own. So the spotlight is shared.

         Love is not something to be taken lightly, but I know it’s worth it. Empathy sparks compassion and patience, two keys to making a friendship last. Listen intently to each other. When we focus on only ourselves, we become absorbed in our own problems and don’t realize that others are experiencing as we do.

         It’s been sixty years since the photo on the dock was taken. I’ve watched my grandpa battle Parkinson’s for the last ten years and my grandma spend every moment of her day caring for him. Putting on his clothes, giving him a bath, cooking, cleaning. The energy and sacrifice is overwhelming for me to think about now that I’ve matured and become more aware. The time came when my grandpa was moved to the Veteran’s nursing home because he needed twenty-four hour attention. My grandma was finally getting to focus on her own health, but she didn’t care. She wanted to be with her best friend and know that he was ok. I cried when I imagined the pain they must have felt. I still can’t imagine. 

         I want timeless friendships that won't crumble. I’ve always been envious of the wizard trio, Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Constantly taking the hit from enemy wands for each other. Haha is it dramatic that I want friends that I’d give my life for? I hope a love like that isn’t fictional. 

Only connect.